The Main Quest of life should be fun, but what makes life really worth living are the Side Quests!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been pushed to obsess over my Main Quest in life: study to graduate to get a job to get my own place to live to have my own family to grow old to die.
We treat life like a speedrun.
But if you look back to your favourite memories – no matter how young or how old you may be – did they happen as a result of that Main Quest?
Let’s rewind to about a year ago:
My Main Quest had just run into a boulder as I failed my internship and was confronted with the daunting possibility of having to repeat my academic year.* I was scrolling mindlessly through Instagram – as I so often did (Note to self: cut back on social media) – when I came across an ad for a female empowerment program called PowHer. Needless to say, I signed up for it and got my acceptance into the second cohort which would literally change my life and kickstart my Side-Questing mindset.
P.s. & Spoiler Alert: This would just be the start and far from the last or biggest Side Quest Opportunity I would find through Instagram Adds! If you ever hesitated to apply to something that sparked your interest through Instagram ads –
THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO DO IT!
My current Main Quest was found as a rerouting after I failed my first chosen academic path as well as a passion project I believed I wanted to turn into my career since I was a child.
What is the Main Quest?
The Main Quest is the path that society expects from you.
For most it looks something like this:
- Study well in school = Graduation & Diploma
- University or Job Training = Work Certification
- Job and Career = Career & Salary
- Savings = Car & Housing Acquisition (ideally buying Property)
- Home = Family
- …
The Main Quest gives structure. Without one, life can feel directionless. But structure and meaning (see Ikigai) are not the same thing.
For me the driver and constant reminder to keep hustling and focusing on my Main Quest was my mom. Near the end of high school, my mom came to me asking if I knew where I wanted to go to university and if I had already looked into where I would live. I say “end”, but I was actually still 2+ years off from graduating, so needless to say between being a mid-teen, handling my first relationship (long-distance at that) and worrying where I could still get a summer job applying in late May, these questions had barely crossed my mind.
The problem begins when the Main Quest becomes so consuming that everything else gets treated as a distraction.
The “Side Quest Paradox”
One type of common Side Quest people take on is hobbies. They are (most often – we see you extra-curricular and CV-building hustlers):
- unrelated to the main quest, freely chosen**
- with no pressure attached
- but can create unexpected opportunites and experiences that lead to personal growth!***
where choice can be limited by prerequisites, prior choices or social status.
Some of my recent Side Quests included:
- Representing my Country in a Metaforum on the Future of EU Climate: This was another opportunity I got by randomly applying through the add on Instagram! It included composing a pitch proposing a personally motivated initiative to present in Brussels as part of an all-expenses-paid trip concluding our part of the project
- Crocheting & Knitting: I got to learn both skills from my grandmothers! I ended up creating cute creatures and crafts for myself and loved ones. The greatest advantage is the wide range of personal gifts you can make! (Free patterns available across the internet!)
I made the viral Bouquet Blanket for my grandma for Christmas and she’s obsessed ♡ - Reading: Wanted to rediscover this iconic hobby I loved as a kid and ended up becoming a Bookclub Host! (Whole story here)
- Art & Illustrating: I consider this a major Side Quest in my life as I’ve been passionate about drawing and generally making art ever since I was just a little girl. When I discovered anime and manga as a teen the wish to create (and publish) my own illustrated book (be it manga, children’s book or classic comic slowly but surely crystallized itself. Just today I got a chance to illustrate 3 scenes depicting national traditions for a cultural project – can’t wait to see where this leads!
- Music: I’ve been taking all kinds of classes at Music School or the Conservatory since I was just 8 years old, learning multiple instruments, participating in competitions and several (semi-) professional projects that got me playing in most of my national venues!
Today I have a job offer for a small position as a music teacher waiting for me to accept it and several major projects coming up, all while still being a university student!
I was never someone who could focus on just one thing, as you can probably tell, but all these contributed – and still contribute – to shaping who I am today and who I will become in the future.
Side Quests look harmless and without impact to society, yet we often develop strong emotional connections to practicing them. And even if they might look unimportant in the moment – that’s how they get overlooked so often – they can lead to important opportunities down the line.
The strange thing about memory
May I ask you a serious personal question? Which classes do you remember from school? What did you do? How did you feel?
Personally most of the moments from school that strongly stand out to me, have strong emotions attached to them:
- Negative emotions involve bad test results, scoldings by teachers or bullying by classmates.
- Positive emotions are linked to times I succeeded and positive social exchanges.
But those successes I am talking about are not linked (directly) to grades – even though I surely wrote some outstanding french essays or math tests.
No. They come mostly from art class and to my surprise to sports.
I remember the great art projects I got to do, the ones I even spent time outside of classes working on and many I treasure to this day!
I also remember the friends I met and the many great times I got to spend with them.
And somehow I am sure that your answers to my questions are pretty similar to mine 😉
Moments that make the main quest progress are often strategic and hold little to no emotional value, which is why we tend to not remember them as strongly if at all. Yet the moments that make us laugh until our bellies hurt, the experiences that inspire us and the connections we build become stories we want to tell over and over again!
When Side Quests secretly change the main story
I may now direct your attention to successful people. Who do you think of? Elon Musk? Rowan Atkinson? Sting? Stephen King? Bill Gates?
Elon Musk studied Physics and Economics at University, yet I bet most of you will agree that what he became famous for has little to nothing to do with what he studied.
Rowan Atkinson, best known for his role as Mr. Bean, has a Masters Degree in electrical engineering! Not sure how useful that still is to him today haha
Sting was an English Teacher before having his breakthrough in music that lead him to sell out stadiums later in life. Maybe his background is the reason he writes such good lyrics?
Stephen King was a high school janitor. And even though his experiences at that old job inspired his novel later-turned-musical Carrie, back then surely none expected him to become a best-selling author.
Bill Gates started as a law major but dropped out of College before even completing his law degree.
All of these people – and I could name hundreds, if not thousands more – are huge names in their respective industries yet no Main Quest could have led them to where they stand today.
The Side Quest never tries to become the plot, not unless you want to give it a chance.
How can you add more Side Quests into your life?
The worst they can say is no.
Let me be clear on one thing:
DON’T QUIT YOUR MAIN QUEST. Not for now at least.
But is there a hobby you’ve always wanted to try out? Most are more accessible than you think. Find a friend or person you know that practices the hobby or even just a community and ask if you could try it out for a session.
You don’t even need to take on a full new hobby.
Next time you get an opportunity to do anything (a walk, a picnic, a party), just say Yes. There’s a whole channel on YouTube called Yes Theory, that is built on exactly this principle: Just say Yes and see what happens!
Another famous and trending challenge on Social Media going around at the moment consist in seeking rejection, as most of us are programmed to expect rejection when in reality most people rather say ‘yes’ than ‘no’.
Is there something you always wanted to do as a child? If yes, I’m sure it jumped to your mind before you even finished reading the question. Well good news, you are older now and probably have the means to make your inner child very happy!
What have you been postponing because it didn’t seem important enough?
Final Words
Maybe the goal isn’t to abandon the Main Quest.
Bills still exist, responsibilities still matter. (unfortunately)
But perhaps life is not a 2D platformer but a complex open-world with endless Side Quests waiting to be unlocked and Easter Eggs to be found.
The Main Quest keeps us moving.
The Side Quest reminds us why we wanted to play in the first place.
Dare to sign up to the project from the Instagram ad.